I have not written a blog in about a year. 2020 was A LOT. So far 2021 is too. I don’t know about you, but I found myself not having as much to give. Energy felt like it was already going outward in so many directions. One of the biggest places was in simply getting through everyday tasks. The Covid19 Pandemic is something that none of us could have prepared for. There was no play book for how to balance the pressures of “stay at home”, family, careers, health concerns, changes in finances, and more.
We have been living through a collective trauma together. I made a commitment to myself early on in the pandemic to give myself grace and make an effort to practice self compassion. It was going to be ok to just do “enough” and to focus only on the things that absolutely had to be done. I would take the pressure off myself to do any of the “extras.” Blogging became one of those extras. I kept my business social media active through both Facebook and Instagram. Meeting with clients through telehealth, maintaining business social media, attending a lot of zoom calls (both professional and personal), family responsibilities, and a few other professional responsibilities became my “enough.” Writing blogs could wait.
Still… I couldn’t help but think about all of the big events that were happening in 2020. It felt like I had a responsibility to address them clinically in a blog. Then my system became totally overwhelmed because of the number of events. There was also the pressure I put on myself to write the “perfect” blog that would do them justice. I just didn’t feel like it was or would ever be possible.
I want to take this opportunity to name some of these big events and topics. I want to invite you to join me in noticing what happens within your system as you read the words. Each could have blogs dedicated to them. They all bring up many different thoughts and emotions. These events and topics include: covid19 pandemic, election year, public figures accused of sexual violence, systemic racism, corruption, antisemitism, racial injustices, virtual learning, working from home, Black Lives Matter, health care crisis, lack of accessibility to services, inequalities in various systems, alleged election fraud, riots, protests, wildfires, deaths of civil rights and equal rights icons, families separated at boarder, conspiracy theories, insurrection, division within the country, division within families, new President, first woman Vice President (and first BIPOC), and so so much more. Disclaimer that these are just a portion of the events/topics and many of these things have been happening for years. And Breathe. My system gets activated just naming them. I have to remind myself to slow down and come back to the breath. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
One thing that I do when I start to feel overwhelmed is to over-saturate myself with information. Yes, in some ways that seems totally counter indicated. Yet, it helps make my system feel better. This became one of my coping strategies for 2020. I started reading, watching, listening, and reflecting. Some of the movies that I’m still thinking about include:
The Social Dilemma (2020)
13th (2016)
American Son (2019)
Just Mercy (2019)
Unfit: The Psychology of Donald Trump (2020)
The Man Card: White Male Identity Politics from Nixon to Trump (2020)
A blog could be written on each of these. There is so much to process.
If you, like me, have something that you have been wanting to do or another challenge you’re facing, I want to offer you this invitation. Start by making that first step. Set that intention. Then notice what thoughts, emotions, and parts of you come up in response to that intention. Be curious about those and follow them to the next. Make space to acknowledge it all. It can be helpful to write it down. In IFS, we call this mapping parts. In that, there are additional prompts to consider as you continue to get to know your internal system. In CBT, we call this thought mapping. This exercise also reminds me of the brainstorming maps in creative writing classes from when I was younger.
Today, I did this exercise in an IFS training that I was a program assistant for. Here’s what came up for me when setting the intention to write a blog.
Again, this type of exercise can be helpful when you have a goal or a challenge. At the top of the paper write the intention or challenge. Then notice what different emotions/thoughts/parts it brings up. Be curious about each and notice what they bring up. Continue to follow these steps as you learn more. This exercise helps us to externalize all those thoughts and emotions that are inside our system. Putting them down on paper changes our relationship with them. We have a different perspective now that we have space. Sometimes, simply making room to acknowledge them is enough to initiate next steps. Other times, we may identify a thought/emotion/part that we need to do more work with before we can take action.
This past year has been filled with many challenges. If you focused on taking care of the day to day tasks and other goals took a backseat, that is ok. It helped get you here today. If you have a little trouble getting started when you are ready to revisit those goals, that’s ok too. You are not alone. I had that same struggle. Now here I am on Super Bowl Sunday writing a blog about it. Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. It starts with one step, and in this case, one blog.
Until next time…